


The Business and Process of Writing

by phnelt



Category: Galaxy Quest (1999)
Genre: Other, Pairing is background, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17013090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt
Summary: No one had expected Galaxy Quest: The New Adventures, to be such a hit, so they’d only been put on air as a mid-season replacement. Now everyone is scrambling to fill in a back fifteen. And it showed.





	The Business and Process of Writing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scintilla10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/gifts).



“Ok, here’s my idea: for this episode, Gwen discovers that she was accidentally cloned in a transporter accident ten years ago and then the crew have to deal with two Gwen’s,” staff writer Dave says. Dave is definitely Brandon’s least favourite writer. 

The writer’s are all sitting around in front of the whiteboard trying to block out the second half of the season. No one had expected Galaxy Quest: The New Adventures, to be such a hit, so they’d only been put on air as a mid-season replacement. Now everyone is scrambling to fill in a back fifteen. And it showed. This last pitch by Dave had been the worst one of the bunch, and that’s saying something considering we’d already had Laliari fights in a gladiator ring, Chen infects the ship and it gets a cold, and JTaggart plays matchmaker between a colony of farmers and a group of inbred clones.

Brandon waits for the transporter clones to get shot down.

“I think the two Gwens should make out.” Will, the executive producer, rolls his eyes and the only two women in the room give him such an unimpressed look Brandon is amazed Dave hasn’t melted. “What? We got all that good press when Gwen came out with her bisexual thing at the beginning of the season, I say we use it. And the network can’t get mad cause it’s not real lesbians.”

Will sighs, but he put it up on the board. “Alright Ron, you take that one, get me a treatment by tomorrow.” Brandon put up his hand. He had been going to let this go but now they’re going to make it, so he has to say it.

Will sighs again, “Brandon, you don’t need to put up your hand. We already talked about this.”

Brandon put down his hand.

“In season 2, episode 13, it is clearly established that transporters work by fully dematerialising then re-creating a transported person. They can’t make a copy because no more than one instance of a person ever exists.”

Ron snorts. 

“Your point is noted,” Will says, “But since we need more plot, we’re going to go with this.”

“This stuff matters!” Brandon is getting frustrated. Galaxy Quest: The New Adventures had brought him on to be a writers’ assistant, so like, all of his job is tracking the show bible, and then they wouldn’t let him do it! That and he gets the dinner order, which is always way more complicated than you think. Somehow a room of 6 writers turned into 10 meals. 

“To you,” Dave says, “The rest of us have an actual job to do.” Will sighs again; Brandon is starting to worry he has a breathing problem.

“Ron, get writing. Brandon  – go get the menus.” Will has one more comment. “Also, remember that Alexander will be directing this one.” As part of their contract negotiations, all of the actors except for Fred had asked to be able to direct at least one episode a season. 

Grumbling a little under his breath, he goes to grab the menus and runs into Fred in the hall, arm in arm with Laliari.

“Oh hi there, Brandon.”

“Hi, Fred.” After they crashed the spaceship, Brandon had gotten to hang out with the cast a lot. Nothings makes friends like surviving an interplanetary incident. It got him this job too, which was a mega bonus. “What are you doing over here?” Fred just smiles a little, which probably means ‘looking for a place to have sex,’ so Brandon doesn’t press it.

“What’s wrong, pal?”

Brandon doesn’t want to complain but his frustration bubbles over. “They don’t listen to me! I have one job here and it’s to make sure we don’t contradict ourselves. And in this episode, they’re totally going to mess with the science.”

“When the historical documents say two things, my people debate. It is very hard for us.” When Lali has an opinion, it’s always worth listening to.

Fred frowns as much as he was capable of. “That’s a bummer. Oh, let’s go talk to the guys, straighten this out.” Hand in hand, they start walking into the writers’ room, and Brandon could do nothing but follow.

“Hey, guys.” Fred says; Laliari does her wave. “I hear you’re doing some bad science. You should probably not do that.” He just smiles some more and walks out. Brandon had been told that normally actors don’t get that much of a say, but because Galaxy Quest was so well-known, the actors kind of had a pass to do whatever they wanted.

Ron throws up his hands. “All right genius, you killed our episode. What now, huh?” Brandon thinks fast.

“The other Tawny could be from an alternate universe?” They hadn’t done one of those yet. Dave gets a gleam in his eye that Brandon doesn’t like.

“An evil universe.” He turns away from Brandon and faces Will. “I’m seeing a goth look. Lots of leather.” Brandon leaves them to it and goes for the menus.

\---

  
  


The long, long days pass in a lot of cups of bad coffee and no one caring about continuity. The one thing Brandon was able to achieve is that now they picked dinner by spinning a wheel he built himself in his spare time. It cuts down on a full hour of lively debate in the room. Now he gets to leave at 9pm! He’s sad this is his life.

Then comes the time to film the Two Gwens episode. Brandon is not technically allowed to be on set, but he made allies with one of the PAs, Christie, in the neverending quest to get food to people on time. Christie is friends with the script girl, Lauren, and they’ve started getting together for drinks. All of that means, he gets to stand in the corner and make no noise while Alexander Dane – _Alexander Dane!_ – is speaking to Gwen.

The episode is light on Dr. Lazarus scenes so he could be free to direct. So it’s a rare makeup-less appearance of Alexander on the set. Laliari keeps reaching out to touch his face and Fred keeps having to gently detach her. It doesn’t help that Fred thinks this is hilarious. Overall, it’s not the serious environment you’d expect from a team making what is probably the most important TV in the world. No, the galaxy if you include its impact on the Thermians and how they are building their whole civilization around it.

But then Alexander starts talking to Gwen quietly, prepping her for the scene. From his vantage, Brandon can’t quite hear what he’s saying, but Gwen is nodding attentively.

They set up, do the scene. It’s not as bad as Brandon was imagining, but most of that is down to Gwen. She’s making lines like, “How can you be me? I’m me!” sound reasonable and emotional, instead of really, really stupid.

“Ok, cut!” They go to reset the action, the makeup lady leaps up and starts powdering Gwen’s already perfect face, moves a single hair. Alexander steeples his fingers softly. Then he says,

“Alright, Gwen, this is Tawny’s first time meeting her alternate self. She’s never had a sister  – “  _ accurate,  _ thinks Brandon, impressed, “She isn’t close with her family, but she has her crew. This is a Tawny who never had that bond. She’s seeing what she could have been  – a warped mirror  – if you will. This time, try playing into that realisation there.” Gwen absorbs that thoughtfully. And suddenly Brandon can see it. What was cheap exploitation in the room, becomes rich and meaningful. Who hasn’t wondered what they’re capable of? What desperation could make them do? Heck, even Brandon has thought about what his life would have been like after his parents got divorced if he hadn’t had the internet and Galaxy Quest to talk about on it.

It’s amazing. Gwen, no, Tawny says, “How can  _ you  _ be  _ me?”  _ And it’s every moment you’ve ever heard about the horrors of the world, and knowing that someone, probably just like you, did it.

“That was excellent, Gwen! We can do one more, is there anything you want to try.” Gwen hesitates for a second, but she tosses her hair and squares her shoulders.

“Actually, yes. Tawny, she’s a communicator, her job is about making connections. I want to try one where she reaches out, maybe tries to make that sisterly connection.” Alexander just nods and they reset.

This time...this time it’s so much more. Gwen keeps the same reading on “How can  _ you  _ be  _ me?”  _ But she transforms the next lines, “You’re not me, you had a different life,” into an olive branch. She imbues the text with so much compassion, so much willingness to understand, that Brandon starts to feel a tear come to is eye. He feels like he could tell Tawny anything and it would be safe. Every bad thought about murdering Dave that makes him nervous he’s evil, she would hear that and it would be ok. This is a Tawny he’s never seen before. If this is the result of letting the cast direct, they should let them do it all the time. 

After Alexander calls cut, Brandon can’t help it, he claps a little. It rings out in the dead quiet of the studio and he catches the eye of his PA friend, who is wildly making the ‘cut it out’ gesture. Oops.

Alexander sees him and just nods at him magnanimously, but Gwen recognizes him and waves him over. 

“Hey, Brandon. What did you think?”

“You were amazing. You brought so much emotion and realness to it, I was so so moved.” Gwen seemed pleased with his comment and gave him a smile. But then he couldn’t stop his stupid mouth and says, “I think you can make anything good, I bet you’ll even make the makeout scene ok.” She narrowed her eyes a little.

“Makeout scene?” She turns to Alexander. He gestured a little. “I haven’t seen the pages, but yes, I was informed that the two Tawny’s will share an embrace.”

“Oh great, whose idea was this?” No one says anything, but Gwen knew who she was looking for and glared around the studio until she saw Ron, who is pointlessly trying to hide behind the craft service table.

“Really Ron? Evil lesbian in a leather catsuit? Could you be more of a pig?” 

Ron cringes a little and tried, “Think of the representation?”

Her eyes narrow again, looking more and more like an intense predatory cat. “Find another way.” Brandon, proving he has the self-preservation of a gnat, says,

“Apparently the network won’t let us do real lesbians.” Gwen didn’t acknowledge that, but Alexander scoffed. 

“Find. Another. Way.” And then she smiles, totally pleasant, and let herself get led away by some minorly anxious wardrobe ladies.

Ron just turns to Brandon and gave him a poisonous look. Uh oh. Then he storms away. A few minutes later, Will comes in. If it wasn’t his episode, Will never came in unless someone was threatening to sue. This is bad. He makes a beeline for Brandon.

Before he could talk, Brandon says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know the makeout scene was a secret, I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’ll apologise to Ron.”

“No, don’t bother. You pissed him off enough that he quit. Normally I wouldn’t reward that, but everyone hated him anyway, so here’s your chance. You can take episode 20.” Episode 20 was the one where Fred had to convince an untrusting village that they were in danger of being attacked. It seemed...up his alley. “If your script sucks, we don’t make it. And this is not a promotion. Also, stay off the set.”

“Yes, sir. Absolutely understood, sir.” Will just stared at him for a second before throwing up his hands and walking away.

Beaming, he turns back to Lauren who is conferring with Alexander about some continuity notes. Tomorrow they were going to shoot the reversal, for the alternate Tawny’s coverage. He mimes bringing a beer to his mouth. She looks at him, confused.

“What?” 

He gives up. “Drinks tonight? Before Christie can respond, Alexander says.

“Oh, all right. The regular pub?”  _ Regular?  _ Brandon mouths. Alexander shouts,

“Fred! Drinks?”

“No can do, Lali got hooked on Xena and we have a taped episode at home. Oh hey, why don’t you and Alex come over. We can grab Gwen on the way out” He sees Brandon staring at him incredulously and confuses his meaning. “You can bring your friends,” he says gesturing at Christie and Lauren the script supervisor. They both started nodding immediately, eyes wide.

Brandon wonders how Lali dealt with Xena, given how long it took her to get the concept of fiction. How do you explain, ‘fictional depiction of real people, but also some fake people’?

“Heyyy Lali. Friends over to watch Xena tonight?” In response, Laliari just lets out a blood-curdling war cry. This answers none of Brandon’s questions. But Fred just smiles. “Cool.”


End file.
